1 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
The Importance of Marriage
Marriage is one of the mysteries of life. From pretty much the time you are born until the time you get married, you are expected to become more INDEPENDENT... you learn to walk, eat, go to the bathroom on your own. Then as you get older, you do laundry, you learn to drive a car, get a job, live at college away from home, etc. The purpose is to learn to live independently, to succeed on your own.
Then along comes dating and then eventually marriage... Look at what Jesus says here: A man is "'united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh." Woah! A married man and woman become like one person in God's eyes!
Marriage is almost the opposite of being "on your own." It's learning to live with another person and make decisions together. It's putting the interests of the other person ahead of your own interests. If you're married, you can't simply leave the house and stay out as long as you want without discussing with your spouse.
The point is that in God's eyes, marriage is a BIG deal! And when the religious leaders ask Jesus about the possibility of divorce, Jesus basically frowns upon it, saying, "What God has joined together, let no one separate." Does this mean that it is ALWAYS wrong to get a divorce? What if one spouse abuses another or sleeps with other people? These, of course, are great questions that deserve meaningful answers. You should definitely talk to your AYL leader or youth pastor if you have questions like these. But let's return to Jesus' main point... Marriage is the union of two people into one, and therefore the question of whom to marry must not be taken lightly.
That's why a lot of youth leaders ask you to seriously pray about when to date and whom to date because dating is a path that can easily lead to marriage. If marriage is such a big deal, then dating should be, too, because the person you date may one day also become "one flesh" with you. And if God's ideal is to stay together for the rest of your life and if a successful marriage requires you giving up your independence and sacrificing for that person, then marriage is pretty significant. For better or worse, right?
As you strive to mature in your faith, remember the person whom you pursue and perhaps one day marry is one of the most important decisions you make in your life. Take it slow, offer it to God, and trust Him in the process.
- Brian Hall
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